


Trick of Fate

by ca_te



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: Kurt and Blaine meet in college when Blaine starts dating Kurt’s roommate. As Blaine and his boyfriend become closer, Blaine comes around to the apartment a whole lot more. This leads to Kurt and Blaine becoming closer and ultimately becoming friends. And then closer. But nothing can happen between them, right?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://prompt-a-klainefic.tumblr.com/post/151837198981/collegeklaine-friends-to-lovers) by [mailroomorder](http://mailroomorder.tumblr.com/) over at [prompt-a-klainefic](http://prompt-a-klainefic.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.  
> Thank you to lovely [alianne](http://alianne.tumblr.com/) for the hand-holding, brain storming and beta! <3 All the remaining mistakes are mine!  
> This is the first Klaine fic I have written in a while, but I do hope I did our boys justice! ;)

**0\. On a rainy night, we met**

 

Warmth washes over him as soon as he steps inside, blessed the centralized heating system! Outside the rain is pouring and Kurt has the annoying feeling that water has seeped down to the marrow of his bones.

As he shivers in his coat and waits for the elevator to arrive, he fervently hopes that his roommate won’t be around today. It has been a long, exhausting day of classes and sewing laboratory and he just wants to have a shower and lie on his bed, catching up on The Americans.

It is not that Kurt doesn’t like Nick, he does - he hadn’t been expecting to luck out this much when he first moved to New York to begin college. First of all, he had found a place in one of NYU’s residence halls in Brooklyn. He had worried he might find some homophobic prick as flatmate, or even worse, someone who didn’t know what hygiene and respect of shared spaces meant. Nick is none of the above; he studies biology and has a cute smile, he is funny, and he is into men too.

The thing is Nick is also very much smitten with the guy he has started dating less than three weeks ago. Nowadays every occasion seems a good time to talk about this fantomatic Blaine - their take out dinners, their Sunday afternoon baking sessions (back in their first year Nick had wanted to learn how to make chocolate almond torte and those afternoons are some sort of an institution by now), their Project Runway marathons. And truly, Kurt doesn’t mind; Nick has proven a wonderful friend over the course of the past two years, supportive and respectful, and he likes being his confidant, but when he is this tired it is a different story.

He can hear the music from down the corridor - “Girls just wanna have fun” - and he rolls his eyes, Nick can be such a dork sometimes. As he gets closer to their apartment, he can also hear someone singing. It doesn’t sound like Nick, though, whom he has heard singing only under the shower with dreadful results. This voice is rich and clear, it reminds him of those 1950’s singers, their voices like a caress even through the speakers.

Nick is on him the moment he pushes the door open and he can’t do anything else but accept this handful of blond Michigan boy.

“I’m so glad you made it!”, Nick all but shouts in his ear.

Kurt, who has grown accustomed to his roommate, but isn’t that much of a touchy person, tries to shrug himself free, but to no avail.

“Honey, let the poor guy breathe”, the singing voice from before says.

Kurt blinks and Nick pulls back a little, enough to flash him a bright grin.

“You can finally meet Blaine!” Nick says, all bright eyes and pink cheeks.

Kurt can’t help smiling back in the face of such undiluted enthusiasm, this is one of the reasons why he likes Nick so much, he wears his heart on the sleeve and is always prone to letting himself go, while Kurt, on the other hand, can’t help being more guarded.

Once Nick finally releases him, Kurt turns around and sees Blaine for the first time. He is standing near the kitchen aisle in a pair of burgundy trousers and a blue vest. The first thing that Kurt registers is the way he carries himself, easy and welcoming. He is shorter than both him and Nick, but he has some kind of _presence_. Sure, he could cut back on the gel, but all in all Kurt can’t help thinking he is very good looking.

“Hi, I’m Kurt. Nick talks so much about you,it is an honor to finally get to see you in person.”

Blaine smiles, his cheeks darkening, and do people still blush for real? No wonder Nick keeps saying that Blaine is the most adorable guy he has ever met.

“Oh he talks a lot about you too, Kurt. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

They shake hands, Kurt’s still cold and damp from the rain outside and Blaine’s warm and soft.

“I am so happy you guys finally met”, Nick is saying as he moves by Blaine’s side. “We were thinking about watching a movie, do you want to join us, Kurt?”

They are both smiling encouragingly at him, but he can feel the exhaustion making his bones heavier and he knows he wouldn’t be great company. Also, he wouldn’t want to intrude. He hasn’t been in a relationship since the Adam fiasco last year, and even though he is starting to feel quite removed from the realm of romantic relationships, he knows how cherished an evening together can be.

“Thank you, guys, but I am really battered. Today’s sewing laboratory was harsh and I need to warm myself up if I don’t want to freeze to death.”

Nick nods and Blaine smiles. “Sewing laboratory? You should tell me more about it next time, then!”. Surely, he might have said it just out of courtesy, but there is something warm and genuinely caring in his gaze.

Kurt finds himself smiling back. “Sure. Enjoy your evening, guys”.

 

**01.Your boyfriend’s birthday, the first time we truly talked**

 

This birthday party has quickly proven to be his worst nightmare come true. “There’s going to be a crowd, Kurtsie, and of course plenty of drinks, and it is going to be amazing!”. Kurt had wanted to keep himself out of this, but Nick was turning 21 and there were no emergency exits available.

He was swiftly put in charge of cooking, while Blaine had to take care of music and decorations. “Pardon me, mister, but what the heck are you going to do?” Kurt had asked Nick, who simply had shrugged.

“I’ll take care of advertising around campus, isn’t that obvious?”.

Kurt has been preparing quiches and appetizers for the past two days, when the fateful birthday is upon them.

Blaine has spent the previous night at their dorm, so that he could start working on decorations in the morning, having only one composition class in the afternoon. They sing Nick “Happy Birthday” over breakfast and Kurt tries hard not to blush when Blaine simply leans over the table and kisses his boyfriend squarely on the mouth. It is not as embarrassing as in the beginning, especially because Blaine has slowly started to spend more time around the dorm  over the past month (“Can you believe it, Kurt? We have been dating for two months and he just keeps getting better and better”, Nick had rambled over Chinese takeout a night not so long ago).

Kurt doesn’t mind of course, Blaine is polite and kind and funny, but he still prefers to skirt out of the fresh couple’s way. They are welcoming and always suggesting he joins them for dinner, or a movie night, or some party, but Kurt somehow feels too cumbersome when it’s just the three of them.

When Nick leaves for his lab practice, Kurt is left with Blaine and he suddenly feels a bit self conscious.

“So...I’m going to get started on the cake,” he mumbles.

“Sure, I’ll take care of the garlands first. Let me know if you need help, though”.

Blaine flashes him a smile and then is off, still in his pajamas. For his part, Kurt focuses on his chocolate and whipped cream cake. The recipe is a difficult and tricky one, but he likes a good challenge now and then.

The old radio hums out top 40 songs, while he lets the mechanics of cooking engulf him. It has always been liberating, the rhythm, the precision of recipes, scales and quantities. A world which he could control, a place where his hands could give a shape to things and make them beautiful. Probably his passion for costume designing stemmed from that same need for comfort and control.

He hasn’t let many people close enough to him to understand this, just Rachel and Mercedes in high school, and foolishly Adam. He shakes his head, that thought is not allowed in his head, not today.

Kurt gets lost in thought and it is only a couple of hours later, the cake safely locked in the fridge, that he realizes the apartment is eerily quiet. Wondering where Blaine might have ended up, he pads into the living room and has to stop in his tracks, dumbfounded. The room is transformed into something wondrous, all shades of red and gold (“Gryffindor!”, Nick will surely holler once he is back from classes). Blaine is standing in a corner taking photos of the details of his arrangement with a sweet little smile on his face. Kurt would probably find it dumb or annoying in anyone else, but he has observed Blaine, albeit from afar, and he has seen enough to know he is not dumb, he simply has this constant wonder deep inside.

“It looks amazing”, he says and watches as Blaine fumbles with his phone and sheepishly runs a hand through his ungelled hair.

“Thanks, Kurt! I’m glad you like it. You know, I value your opinion and…”

“You do?” Kurt asks, truly surprised. There has never been much interaction between them so far and he has never entertained the idea that Blaine might keep him in any particular consideration.  

“Of course I do, Kurt. I know we haven’t, you know...talked much, but Nick has told me so many things about you and what you do. If there’s one thing I’m sure about, it is that you’ve got an eye for beautiful things.”

Kurt briefly wonders when Blaine has found the time to breathe seeing how fast he has spoken. He feels kind of flustered, but also oddly pleased that Blaine might have given all this a thought and found that Kurt is worthy of this kind of respect.

“Thank you, but really I’m nothing special”, he replies and Blaine simply shakes his head.

“Now you’re being too modest”, he says all huge eyes and perfect smile.

From then on the rest of the day goes smoothly, Kurt helps Blaine out with the paper lanterns he wants to hang along the corridors and Blaine assists him in the kitchen as he decorates the cake.

“That is amazing, Kurt. I mean, Nick told me you were a skilled cook, but a cake like that...it looks like the work of a maitre patissier!”.

Kurt smiles down at the frosting and feels warm from head to toe. Even though he has always been someone who works quietly, without boasting or wanting all the lights pointed at him, he still enjoys the recognition.

“Thank you, Blaine. That means a lot”, he whispers. It is a shock to feel Blaine’s shoulder pressing lightly against his, uninvited and yet oddly welcome.

Blaine doesn’t say anything, he just keeps mixing the sugar as Kurt has instructed him to do.

When Blaine leaves for his composition class in the afternoon, Kurt is left alone in the apartment and even though he usually enjoys some alone time, it is slightly unsettling not to have Blaine’s bundle of energy around.

He takes his time showering and going through his moisturizing routine. Half of the campus is going to be crammed into their apartment and he wants to look good, not that he thinks someone is actively going to pursue him, but still being at his best makes him feel kind of shielded, protected even.

While he is going through his wardrobe, Blaine and Nick get back home; he hears them laughing. Having all this love and positiveness around is a good feeling, it reminds him of home, of Burt and Carole and Finn, when he was still with them.

***

“Nick, for the love of all that his holy, where have you put the corkscrew this time?”, Kurt shouts over his shoulder.

The first guests are trickling in and he can’t help feeling responsible for the success of this whole ordeal.

Someone taps lightly on his shoulder. “Here you go, Kurt”, Blaine says. “You know, Nick has a tendency to abandon it on the sofa most of the time”.

“You are quite observant, aren’t you?”, Kurt says and enjoys the way Blaine blushes and stumbles over an “Am I?”. It is nice, having this new way they have to be around each other. Who knows, Kurt finds himself thinking, maybe a friendship can come out of this after all.

***

The night speeds by, there are friends over, like Sam and Mike and Santana, and terribly embarrassing karaoke - he ends up singing Lady Gaga’s Poker Face with Nick and can’t help noticing the awe on Blaine’s face, his hands clasped tight in adoration.

By 2am Kurt is positively exhausted, he is sitting on the windowsill, near the fire escape staircase when Blaine joins him. “Tired already?”, there is no trace of malice in his voice, just a bit of teasing and Kurt nods.

“I am an old man, Blaine.”

Blaine’s laugh comes as a surprise, clear even through the fog that too many drinks have conjured around him.

“You’re a nice guy, Blaine. I’m glad Nick has found you”, he blurts out.

Blaine’s lips make a perfectly shaped “o” before they pull into a smile. “Thank you, Kurt. I know you really care about Nick and that means a lot to me”.

Kurt shakes his head, “That’s simply what I think”.

They remain there, by the window, a while longer, in companionable silence, until Kurt bids Blaine goodnight and retires to his bedroom. The music comes in muffled as he undresses and slides under the covers. It has been a nice day, it reminded him of how lucky he is to have amazing people around, a safe place which he can call home even in this enormous city.

He closes his eyes and falls asleep within seconds.

 

**02.The time we went out for coffee and you made me smile**

 

“Do you mind helping me out with these?” Kurt asks in the general direction of the living room as he jostles the grocery bags.

“Coming!”, Blaine’s prompt reply carries over from the other room. By now Kurt is not surprised to find him at home.

Nick asked him a month ago if he could make a copy of the keys for him and Kurt hadn’t had anything to object. Indeed, he has begun to enjoy having Blaine around. The house is livelier and warmer somehow. There is always something new to do or to watch; Blaine leaves the leaflets he scavenges around town on the coffee table in the living room. They have been to small college productions, once they treated themselves to an off Broadway musical, and of course they have been to the first of Blaine’s yearly showcases.

Nick had been in trance during the whole performance, adoration painted on his features. Kurt had studied Blaine more freely than he had allowed himself to do before. When Blaine is around him or Nick he is playful and relaxed, but on stage, sitting at the piano, he is concentrated energy, his fingers leaping over the keyboard. There is something bright inside of Blaine, Kurt found himself thinking, and with that thought came the idea that it would be nice to be actual friends with him, and not just acquaintances.

“It was an astounding performance,” he simply whispered to a beaming Blaine, who was dealing with a handful of Nick hugging him.

“Thank you, Kurt. That means a lot!”, Blaine replied, visibly elated.

As Blaine continues to spend more and more time with them, Kurt grows to appreciate the small moments when they get to chat about their days, about a book Blaine is reading, or a new song that Kurt has discovered. Small things, that one by one go on to build something new. They couldn’t be called _friends_ per se, Kurt thinks, but it is pleasant and different from the visceral relationship he has with Rachel, or the playful one with Nick.

“You know, I think I should adopt you as my new housemate,” Kurt jokes as he puts away the oranges and Blaine folds the paper bags.

“Oh I wouldn’t think twice about it,” Blaine chuckles. Kurt casts a quick glance at the clock above the stove.

“It’s 5pm. Where’s Nick?”

“He has to pull an allnighter; it seems they have to close on that research he has been going on about lately.” Blaine replies, leaning against the kitchen isle. “Would you like to grab a coffee?”, he asks. He is smiling, easy and carefree as always, and Kurt can feel himself smiling back.

“That would be nice. I need my caffeine fix if I want to pull through my essay on rococo costumes.”

“That sounds like quite a nasty one,” Blaine says as they move towards the entrance to get their coats.

“You have no idea”, Kurt huffs.

“I think it is going to snow,” Blaine states as he wraps a red scarf around his neck.

Kurt glances out of the window. Indeed, the sky is overcast and tinted a milky white. He reminisces how awed and excited he was the time he saw his first snow in New York - “It’s just magic, Rachel”, “I wish I were there”, “Me too”. He spent a whole afternoon just walking around Brooklyn, simply enjoying the sight of all that whiteness as it covered grocery shops’ tents and tree branches, making an incredible city even more magical.

“Let’s hope so.”

Outside it is a bit chillier than when he got back home earlier and he pulls his coat closer, Blaine falling into step next to him.

“Where would you like to go?” Kurt asks, his breath forming white soft clouds in front of his face.

“I know just the perfect place.” Blaine answers and Kurt lets him lead the way.

[ The place is small and cozy ](https://it.foursquare.com/v/little-zelda/4f5bd8e9e4b053fd681bf717); as he sits in one of the plush armchairs, Blaine goes to order at the counter. He seems to know the baristas well; they greet him affectionately and Kurt wonders how it feels, to be so friendly, to have people taking a liking to you so quickly.

It is a useless thought, he knows that, especially because if there is something that he has learned over the years is that you are what you are and the sooner you stop waging war against yourself the better, if you don’t want to inflict wounds that end up being beyond cure.

Blaine comes back a few minutes later with a slice of pumpkin pie and a chocolate chip cookie.

“They’re going to bring your non-fat mocha in a sec,” he says sitting down in front of Kurt. “In the meantime, I thought we could share these?”

As the awkwardness of this first moment only for themselves melts away, Kurt finds himself smiling at Blaine’s earnest, puppy eyes. “You do look like a Labrador puppy, you know that?”. For a second he is worried he has overstepped again, but Blaine huffs out a surprised laugh.

“No one has ever told me that!”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I think it’s a cute thing to say, and I hope you don’t mind being friends with a Labrador.”

“I’d like to be friends, even with a Labrador”, Kurt admits. He can feel his cheeks growing hotter already; he has always struggled with the initial phases of a new friendship and this is the first time he kind of feels it is important to get things right.

He is still desperately chasing for words when the speakers begin to pour out the first notes of Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” and he quickly grabs the providential chance.

“Oh, I love this song.”

Blaine’s eyes widen with something that looks like excitement.

“You do? Please, tell me you’re a musical kind of guy, pretty please?”

By this time Kurt is grinning, giddy at the idea that he might have finally found someone in the city who enjoys musicals as much as he does.

“I am. I truly am.”

They barely register the waiter coming up to them and leaving their drinks on the small table. Blaine gestures wildly, describing this scenography, or that song, and Kurt is sure he hasn’t had such a chat in ages, probably since his sleepovers with Rachel and Mercedes.

“Can I tell you a secret?”, Blaine asks at one point, after polishing off the last bit of chocolate chip cookie.

“Sure, go ahead, your secrets are safe with me.”

“Now I study as a composer, but for years my dream was to become a singer on Broadway. I was in glee club all through high school.”

Kurt detects no wistfulness in Blaine’s voice, he doesn’t sound resigned or sad about the choices he has made over the years. There is just a soft undertone, as if he is reminiscing one of the best moments of his life.

“All right then, in exchange I’ll tell you a secret too.”

Blaine nods, even leaning over the table, all kind attention.

“I was in my high school’s glee club too. It was…” How much can he say, how much can he open up? But Blaine is waiting patiently and Kurt just _feels_ he can trust him. “It was the only place where it actually felt safe to be myself.”

He braces himself, because this isn’t something he usually discloses. Even with Nick he has only briefly dropped hints, without touching the subject. He watches as Blaine lowers his gaze, hands clasped on his knees now. His voice is small when he speaks.

“I’m sorry about that, Kurt. I...I know the feeling. They...I had a very bad incident because of who I was, who I am.”

Blaine’s whole body language screams sadness now, and Kurt knows the feeling. Of course you go on in life, you grow up, you get stronger, but there are scars that you’ll always carry, deep down, where bone meets soul. He also knows that in these cases words cannot manage to get through, and so he reaches over, his hand finding one of Blaine’s and clasping tight.

“And yet, look at where you’re now. In a beautiful city, with a lovely boyfriend, doing something you love.”

Blaine finally lifts his gaze, his face is so open that Kurt gets the feeling he can see right down to his heart.

“And...now maybe we...can be friends?”, he whispers. Kurt doesn’t even have to think about it. He nods. “Yes.”

 

 **03.**   **A shopping trip, or when I first caught myself really looking at you**

 

From their chat at the coffee shop that December day, they slowly grow closer and closer. They do not need random occasions like parties or dinners to spend time together.

When they are not hanging out with Nick - studying, watching TV or enjoying what the city has to offer - it’s the two of them.

Kurt quickly learns that Blaine is terribly cuddly and endearingly sweet. He might have noticed it watching him with Nick, but somehow what they have is different. It’s sitting on the couch, talking for hours, it’s Blaine leaning forward to brush their shoulders together at random moments, grabbing his hand when there’s too much crowd to navigate through on the street, or squeezing his shoulder as he passes him in the kitchen while they experiment with one of the new recipes Kurt keeps fishing out of the depths of the internet.

It is easy to be friends with Blaine - both in the playful and in the harder moments.

On a particularly bad day, one of those when Kurt just feels like a small fish in a sea too big for him to even comprehend, he comes back to the apartment wanting nothing more than to crawl under the covers.

He’s spent the previous three weeks working on a costume that received only a tepid reaction from the professor. They are entering in their third year at Tisch and he can’t afford to be anything short of perfect if he wants to secure the internship at Kara Harmon’s firm.

Since he has arrived in New York, Kurt has constantly felt the pressure to be good, to be better than all the rest, to prove that he can achieve what he has always dreamed of, first of all to himself. Certainly, this is his driving force, but it can also drag him down like a rock when there are setbacks on the path.

He has just closed the door and is already savoring the pleasant warmth of his bed as outside the annoying spring rain keeps pouring, when Blaine peaks around the frame of the living room doorway.

“Welcome back home. How did it go?”

Kurt can feel the hard edges of a nasty remark already on his tongue, but he checks himself. Blaine hasn’t done anything wrong; instead he has spent so many evenings patiently going over the designs with Kurt, giving his opinion, listening to him as he rehearsed his presentation. Nick was pulling many all nighters at the lab as they were trying to close in on some research that would be published in a scientific journal, and more often than not there were only the two of them at home.

“Not as good as I hoped. She said it lacks of, and I quote literally, _that sparks that makes you go wow_ …”

Blaine walks up to him in silence, stopping just a pace away. He nods and then simply wraps his arms around him. It’s the first time they hug like this, so freely, consciously pulling down boundaries. It feels good and Kurt closes his eyes, leaning into it.

It is weird how they are beginning to communicate like this, without the need for words. From his experiences with friendship this is not something common. It is something to be treasured, though, of that much he is sure.

“Thank you.”, he whispers and Blaine just hugs him a bit tighter.

“You know what we should do?”

“No, what?”

Blaine pulls back slightly, he is grinning up at Kurt now.

“There’s a Carnival party tonight in Othmer Hall. Nick is going to join us there later, but why don’t we go to chase down some costumes?”

Kurt isn’t sure he feels like being among strangers tonight, but a bit of shopping wouldn’t hurt. He is not even confident he would be able to say no to Blaine, seeing how he is looking at him with the best puppy eyes Kurt has ever seen on a human being.

“All right, I surrender.”

Blaine beams at him and then is off to get his coat. Kurt waits in the entrance, the ghost of his friend’s touch still around him.

***

“And this?”

Kurt almost spits out the green tea he has been sipping from a too hot styrofoam cup. Blaine is standing in front of him with a huge fake mustache on and a cheap top hat resting on his curls.

“Blaine, please!”

“Uff, you’re demanding, Kurt. What should I go for then?”

Kurt tilts his head to the side, studying Blaine’s small frame. “Go for something more playful. Nick would love that in more than one way!”

Blaine blushes and Kurt can’t help grinning. They haven’t breached any sexual topic yet, after all Kurt is not sure he feels like knowing what goes on behind Nick’s closed doors. His roommate has tried mentioning how good Blaine is, but well, that’s something Kurt would rather not know. However teasing Blaine is fun, and he likes the peachy tinge on his friend’s cheeks when he does.

“All right. Let’s see what I can find. Beware, Hummel!”

“We’ll see what you’ve got, Anderson.”

As Blaine gets changed Kurt walks around the small shop; it is a bit of a mix between a vintage shop and a costume one. Not that he would ever wear something that someone else has owned, but there is something fascinating about things other people have loved and worn.

He is considering how this might make a good theme for a series of stage designs, when Blaine re-emerges from the changing room.

For a handful of seconds Kurt can’t believe that what he’s seeing is true.

“Is this better, then?”

Blaine’s tone is playful, but Kurt is speechless. His friend is dressed in a pair of short legged gray tracksuit pants, completed by a hoodie with a couple of rabbit ears. And then Blaine is turning around and Kurt feels the styrofoam cup cracking under his grip. Hanging right above the curve of Blaine’s ass there is a white rabbit tail.

Kurt prays to a god he doesn’t even believe in to give back his ability to speak before Blaine realizes that something is off with him. The thing is that Blaine is, simply put, gorgeous. Kurt has never allowed himself to look of course, but there is no way of denying his trim torso, the smoothness of his slightly tanned skin, or the way his muscles flex as he turns again to grin at Kurt.

“Do you think Nick will appreciate this?”

“I...I am sure he will”, he manages to stammer, and Blaine chuckles. “Are you blushing?”, he asks.

“Don’t give yourself too much credit, little Labrador.

“Woof”, Blaine says before disappearing behind the curtain again. Kurt breathes in deeply, grateful for the reprieve. He doesn’t know what to do with the sudden attraction he feels. Blaine is Nick’s boyfriend, and Nick is his friend. The fact that the more he spends time with Blaine the more he feels connected to him can’t matter.

***

The party at Othmer Hall is just as Kurt had imagined - noisy music, a pale attempt at strobo lights and more alcohol than he has ever seen. As they get inside, Blaine clasps his hand as he navigates towards the kitchen, where they presume drinks will be available. Nick won’t be here before another hour - he texted Blaine as they were making their way to the party.

They take their time perusing what is available - “Ugh, I hate rhum!”, “Same. What about gin tonic?”, “I can make it!”, “Are you sure you won’t poison me, Blaine?”.

They end up with shaky fingers and the strong taste of gin on their tongues.

“I love this song!”, Blaine all but shouts as the speakers blast out “Cheap Thrills”. He then proceeds to grab Kurt’s hand once more. “Let’s dance!”

Kurt blinks, Blaine is staring at him, his fake rabbit ears flopping at either side of his curly head. He is unsure about the best course of action at this point. Kurt doesn’t know how to deal with the jumble of emotions that is currently sloshing through him. He likes Blaine, he truly does - he is a friend like Kurt has never had, but he can’t deny that there is something else by now.

“C’mon, Kurt! Are you acting shy with me of all people?”

Kurt opens and closes his mouth, but before he can reply Blaine is dragging him towards the makeshift dance floor. “All right, I will decide for you then!”

Kurt lets himself be guided, his heart beating traitorously faster as Blaine laughs and begins to dance, finding the rhythm quickly and swaying his hips playfully. It takes a while but aided by the music and by Blaine’s contagious enthusiasm, Kurt lets himself go and gets his heart to slow down.

Being like this with Blaine, this carefree and open, feels so good. If Kurt were to be completely honest with himself, he would have to admit that it actually feels _right_.

They keep dancing, one song morphing into the other, and moving between the dance floor and the kitchen to make more drinks. Kurt is trying his hand at a mojito, when Blaine steps closer, their shoulders brushing and his words slightly slurred.

“I love this evening. it...I like hanging out with you,” Blaine says, his gaze lowered on the mint leaves on the table. Kurt makes an effort to keep his hands moving. He can’t be sure about what Blaine is saying or implying. Still, how can he just reject what Blaine has told him so openly.

“I...I like it too, Blaine. I really do.”

He hopes his voice hasn’t quivered too much. Blaine lifts his head then, a small and tender smile on his lips. For an instant Kurt feels suspended in time, the two of them looking at each other in this kitchen, the music thrumming under his feet like the ocean.

“Here are my favorite boys!”

Nick’s voice shutters the kind of enchantment and Kurt hastens to lower his gaze again, guilt simmering even though nothing has actually happened.

“Hi, baby.” Blaine replies as Nick envelops him in a hug. Kurt is acutely aware of the soft kind of disappointment that is spreading through him at the idea that he has to relinquish Blaine’s exclusive company for the evening.  

“Wait a moment, love, but...are you trying to kill me with this costume? You are..., smoking hot!”

Something trembles inside Kurt; he feels embarrassed in a way that is quite unprecedented. Blaine flashes him an apologetic look, and that is unusual too.

“Shall we go and mingle?” Nick asks.

Relieved, Kurt follows them on autopilot. More people must have joined the party by now, because there is barely room to move in the throng of dancing bodies. Kurt tries his best not to cringe when Nick pulls Blaine closer, lost to the music. He wishes he could say this isn’t jealousy, but he is not that dense. But why should he be jealous of Nick - his friend, the boyfriend of a new and wonderful friend he has made over the past months? Unless…The room is suddenly feeling too small and his thoughts too big to keep them in check. Kurt doesn’t even bother to tell Nick and Blaine because he doesn’t want to disturb them. He makes his way to the door. He’ll text them and he is sure they won’t question his motives for leaving surely they won’t suspect anything.

***

Back at home he takes a long, hot shower, breathing slowly, letting the steam envelop him. What  he do now? He cannot fall for Blaine. It can’t happen. That isn’t how friends behave. He cannot destroy two friendship in one go.

As he lies in bed waiting for the sleep to come, Kurt makes a deal with himself. He will control this, he will make sure to suffocate this feeling before it gets to ruin everything.

 

  **04.** **That afternoon in the library, or when I decided I needed you in my life**

 

It’ss not the best solution he could have come up with, Kurt knows it, but it is the easiest. It can’t matter if it is painful, he needs to make sure he meets the end result. More and more he spends the hours after classes in the library, instead than at home, where chances of being alone with Blaine are higher.

They still have dinner together along with Nick, maybe watch a movie or a TV show, but Kurt has those situations under control. He is sure Blaine must have noticed that something is off, but he doesn’t say anything, so neither does Kurt.

It saddens him - this distance that he has to force between them. He misses their chats at night, the way he could confide hopes and sad thoughts in Blaine. He misses it all, but he doesn’t know what else to do. His feelings seem to quieten down the more time passes, and so he forces himself to wait one month after the other.

***

It is a Saturday at the beginning of May. Once again Kurt has sought the respite of Tisch’s library to work on his sketches. Being away from the apartment when he knows Nick isn’t there still seems the best option.

He is working on the details of a 1930’s cocktail dress when a shadow lengthens over the sheet of paper.

“Sorry, can you move from the light?” He asks without lifting his gaze.

“Only if you’ll look at me.”

Kurt drops his pencil, it rolls off the edge of the desk. His head spins from how fast he gets to his feet.

“Blaine...what are you doing here?”

“I want to talk with you, isn’t that obvious?”

He has never heard this tone from Blaine; it’s hard and hurt laces every single word. Something cold settles behind Kurt’s sternum.

“Do...do you want to go somewhere more private?”

Kurt watches as Blaine quickly looks around the room and nods. They walk out of the library in silence, down the corridors, towards the emergency exit that opens to the inner courtyard. The light from outside paints the walls golden.

Blaine stops abruptly, there is only silence around them, not many students around on a Saturday.

“What happened, Kurt? Tell me. One day we were friends and then…”

Blaine is not looking at him as he speaks, and that makes Kurt want to reach out, grab his hand, shake him, whatever it takes.

“I...It’s just…”

And how can he explain it? How can he say that it was the coward's way out of something that was beginning to get too deep?

“What is it, Kurt? Did I do something wrong? I...I miss you, you know?”

Kurt clenches his hands into fists. He must reign it all in, he has to, but still...The edges of Blaine’s pain are so hard, they are cutting through him like knives and Kurt cannot stand the thought that he is the cause behind all this.

“I...I miss you too.”

Blaine does look at him then, his eyes glossy with sadness and relief and...and then there is no space left between them, Blaine’s arms around his neck, his lips smooth and warm.

It shakes something right at Kurt’s core, like lightning, like a tidal wave. Everything shuts down and there is nothing else, just this moment, his heart thundering in his ears and the constant pressure of Blaine’s lips.

His instincts kick in and Kurt does what each single cell in his body is screaming to do, he kisses Blaine back.

It feels right in a way no other kiss has ever felt; it’s when his brain catches up with his actions that Kurt panics. He hastens to pull back, only to be met by the delicious sight of a disheveled Blaine, his cheeks dusted pink, his pupils blown wide. He looks shaken and Kurt is fairly sure he hadn’t planned this.

“Blaine...I...we can’t…”

Kurt’s throat feels tighter, the telltale tingling of panic shaking up his legs and arms. What have they done? Instinctively he takes a step back, and then another. He is surprised when Blaine’s fingers close around his wrist.

“Kurt, please...don’t run away, not now. We need to talk about this.”

He is rooted to the spot, his chest rising and falling in the effort of containing the storm that is mounting inside of him.

“What...what do we do now?”

Blaine bites his lower lip, the gesture so endearing that Kurt has to fight the urge to reach for him. They need to clear things up first, they must.

“Look, Kurt, I...I don’t know about you, but I’ve...suspected this for a while.”

“Suspected what?”

“That I might...that I might be falling for you. Do you…”

Kurt holds his breath, he knows what comes next. The question is if he is ready to admit it all, to himself, to Blaine, and then to act on it. Blaine is looking at him, his eyes wide, his heart so visible behind his features. How can Kurt deny him the truth?

“I do. I have...that’s why I tried to distance myself, I thought that…”

“Every day, I think about you every day. And I know it shouldn’t be, I know...it should be Nick, but...Kurt I couldn’t control this and now...now that I’m feeling it I cannot make it go away. I don’t...want to.”

Then this what if truly feels like, Kurt thinks. After all the movies, the books, the fantasies, finally he begins to understand. The weight love carries with itself, the knowledge that this is something big, that he cannot even hope to contain or domesticate.

He moves closer to Blaine then, until the tips of their shoes are touching and their foreheads are brushing. Blaine’s intake of breath sends a shiver down his spine.

“I don’t want to let this go, either. But, Nick…I don’t ever want to hurt him. He is...my best friend and, well, your boyfriend.”

Blaine sniffs and Kurt knows even without looking that there are tears in his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hug him close, protect him. But that too will have to wait until they have found a way out of this mess.

Reluctantly he pulls back and takes in a deep breath.

“We need to tell him.”

Blaine nods, his eyes serious. “We’ll do it together.”

“It might...it might take a while for him to accept it. Maybe in the meantime we shouldn’t…”

“See each other? Kurt…”

“Yes. There is no way around this, Blaine. Nick...he is a friend, the first one I made here in New York. And he is a great guy, I won’t...it won’t do us any good if what we have gets…”

“I understand, Kurt, I do.”

Blaine tries to smile, a small, quivering thing, that is still enough to shake Kurt down to his core. How could he not see how big this love had gotten? It has filled him up silently and now he has to face the consequences.

“Just know that I want you in my life, Blaine. I…”

“I know.”

Kurt clings to the Blaine’s words. A promise of something beautiful to come, something they can build together.

“We’ll get through this, Blaine. I promise you.”

Blaine leans forward and kisses him again. Kurt leans into it, wanting to memorize Blaine’s smell, the texture of his lips, everything.

 

  **06**.  **Breaking and mending**

 

“That’s...I…”

Kurt holds his breath until his lungs are burning. He hates this, letting the people he cares about down. Since he was a kid, he has always been fiercely protective of his friends. And yet, now he is making Nick suffer.

They have tried to breach the topic as tactfully as possible, Blaine and he together, because it was something the both of them needed to face. Nick is now staring at his hands, clasped in front of him, his shoulders rising fast as he breathes in and breathes out.

Blaine is sitting beside him, Kurt can see his hands twitching with the need to reach out and comfort his now ex-boyfriend, he can see the strain this is putting on all of them. But he waits silently, Nick has every right to be angry.

“For...for how long?”

Nick’s voice is raw and it scratches at Kurt’s heart like a wild animal. Blaine’s eyes widen and he rushes in to explain. “Nothing has happened, Nick. We just realized our feelings recently. We tried to…”

Kurt knows it is his turn to clarify and he steels himself. “We both tried to ignore them. Believe us, please. It’s just...honesty comes first and we had to tell you.”

Nick nods, his eyes hooded. “I...I know you didn’t do this to hurt me, but...I thought you loved me Blaine, I thought…”

“And I swear I thought so too, Nick. You are an amazing guy, so much more than I deserve. I didn’t...I wasn’t expecting this, it just...happened.”

And that’s the thing, that’s why Kurt is sure that this feeling is real. Because they didn’t chose it, they even tried to ignore and suppress it, and still here it is, roots sliding deeper, branches blossoming.

“We understand that you need time and space to process all this,” Kurt interjects, “and of course we will respect that.”

He knows full well that this will entail not seeing Blaine for a while, to put his feelings on hold, but he is willing to do it if it is for Nick’s sake.

“I need...to be alone now.” Nick mumbles and Kurt moves away in silence, watching his retreating back. The sound of the door closing resounds like a gunshot in his ears. Blaine is still sitting, his face pale, a leg jittering as it does when anxiety gets the best of him.

“Hey, look at me.”

Blaine lifts his gaze, sadness etched on his expressive face. Kurt kneels down, in front of the couch. “I just...I would have never wanted to hurt him…”

“I know, Blaine, I know. You - we - didn’t do it on purpose. You know that.”

Blaine nods before shifting closer, hiding his face against Kurt’s neck.

“Do you really think that this could work?”, he mumbles.

Kurt hugs him close, absorbing his solidity, his warmth.

“I do love you, Blaine. I truly do. I have to believe that this can work.”

***

Kurt pushes his hair away from his forehead and moves closer to the open window. New York in mid June already feels like a furnace.

He began his internship at the firm two weeks ago and he is still getting familiar with the place, his desk is a cramped little thing at the back of the loft and now and then he still feels like a small fish out of water. For an instant he wishes he could see Blaine, hug him and be comforted. But they decided it would be better not to go out and, well, date until Nick was feeling better and things had settled down.

There have been texts and calls, hours of simply keeping each other company on Skype, and surely that has helped. It might not be the orthodox way of doing it, but they are getting closer this way. Once they overcame the initial guilt - which is still there, but is now manageable - they have moved on to talking about them, about desires, hopes, big and little dreams. Last night Blaine told him that he has been fantasizing about the two of them walking through Central Park, feeding the ducks, “the kind of things they do in the movies, Kurt. I want them for real, with you”, Blaine said. It is a sweet promise and Kurt treasures it, along with all the dreams of what will come. He knows by now that Blaine and he would be great together, he _feels_ it.

When his break comes he quickly grabs his messenger bag and makes his way to the place that makes fresh juices just around the corner. His phone buzzes in his pocket.

**From Blaine:**

**Thinking of you x**

Blaine sends these small, sweet messages multiple times a day and Kurt finds them absolutely endearing. Not for the first time he wishes they could spend more time together.

_I think about you all the time, you know? Xxx_

This is the most forward he has ever been so early in a relationship - not that he has many he can refer to for a comparison - and sure sometimes it is scary, but it also exciting. Then this is how it should feel, Kurt finds himself thinking, this is what all those movies and books were about. And this is the reason why he feels he can endure it all, if it then means having a chance at happiness with Blaine.

***

The house is quiet when he gets back from work, the lights are out and Kurt is both disappointed and relieved. It has been one month, 30 days of Nick and he walking on eggshells, trying to avoid each other as though they are both made of glass, ready to shatter, shards flying everywhere.

Kurt is not used to this. There have been fights with Rachel and Mercedes, of course, but they have never been able to hold a grudge for that long, they have never been scared to bridge the distance. This time is different, though. He doesn’t know what to do and out of respect for Nick he just waits.

He is making his way to the living room, just wanting to curl up on the couch and maybe liveblog an episode of some tv series with Blaine when he realizes that indeed he is not alone. Nick is sitting on the couch, typing away at his phone. The screen casts a bluish light on his face.

“Hey.” Kurt says softy.

“Hey.”

Kurt shifts his weight from left to right. Why isn’t there a manual of instructions for these things?

“If you prefer…”

“I won’t break, Kurt, you know?”

Nick is looking at him straight on, his voice is firm but there is no trace of anger in it. He sounds resigned, Kurt thinks.

“Sit down, will you?”

Kurt moves on auto-pilot and sits down on the couch, his hands on his knees, feeling like a boy who deserves to be reprimanded.

“I am not angry with you, Kurt. I am not. And with Blaine either. I was just...I thought maybe I was the one who was not enough and…”

“Of course not, Nick. Never think that! Don’t doubt how amazing you are, don’t...don’t let others taint the opinion you have of yourself.”

It comes out in a rush and Kurt is actually taken aback from the sheer force of the emotion he is feeling - the need to protect Nick, to tell him what he had so desperately needed to hear when he was younger.

Nick is looking at him, mouth open and eyes wide.

“Kurt...god, I missed you!”

Kurt yelps in surprise as Nick hugs him close. After a moment of hesitation he hugs him back just at tight.

“I missed you too. And I’m sorry, I truly am.”

Nick pats him on the head, and Kurt is so happy and relieved he doesn’t even mind.

“Stop saying that. I know that you are. And really, I’ll move on.”

They stay on the couch for hours, catching up. Nick asks him about Blaine, about them, and Kurt is honest with him. He tells him of the hopes, the fantasies, the fears. Nick is quiet only for a handful of seconds before whispering softly “I know that you’re going to make each other happy, Kurt. That’s what I want for you.” And Kurt is so grateful he could cry.

“You’re an amazing friend, you know that?”

“Hold on, I’ll record that, so that I can use it against you the next time you’ll go around complaining about me.”

They laugh, Kurt’s heart so light he is surprised it isn’t already ballooning towards the ceiling.

***

“I spoke with Nick. He said...I guess he gave us his blessing”

Kurt leans back against the pillow, waiting for Blaine to process what he has just said.

“Does that mean…”

The elation in Blaine’s voice makes something unfurl inside Kurt, warm and soft.

“Yes. Can I see you tomorrow?”

“Kurt, do you think you’ve even got to ask?”

***

Blaine is waiting for him in front of their cafè - Kurt doesn’t even know when he has started to think about the place as theirs, but it has happened somewhere along the way.

Somehow he manages to be even prettier than what Kurt remembers, standing there with his curls untamed, a smile so bright that even New York city lights couldn’t compare.

They do not even speak, they just embrace each other, holding on tightly, a breath he didn’t realize he was holding escaping past Kurt’s lips. It feels like coming back home. Blaine is pressing soft kisses to his neck, Kurt belatedly realises, a blush creeping up his cheeks as they are standing right in the middle of the street.

“Blaine…”

“Mmm let me hold you, please. Just a bit longer.”

Kurt chuckles but complies, his arms tightening a fraction around Blaine, their chests rising and falling together.

This is it, this is where they begin.

 

  **07**.  **Epilogue**

 

“Nick, come on. It will be fine!” Kurt shouts in the direction of the bathroom.

Blaine huffs out a laugh from his spot on Kurt’s bed. They have been together for a year now, and Kurt still goes mushy inside when Blaine acts cute like that. He is still a constant surprise - his tenderness, his resilience, his stubbornness, the way he cares with all his heart. Blaine doesn’t know half measures, he just throws himself into things - surely powered also by a constant fear of not being enough, which Kurt is slowly trying to assuage.

They talk, they fight, they make love, they help each other. Kurt is sure this cannot compare with anything else, this feeling of wholeness.

“Kuuuurt, please, come and help!”

Kurt rolls his eyes at Nick’s pleas. He is getting ready for a date,

“C’mon, babe. Go and help, or we’ll never leave in time for our dinner.”

Blaine smiles coyly at him and Kurt is pleased to be able to read right through him.

“Mmm is a dinner that important, honey?”

“Well, I’d like to get my dessert afterwards.” Blaine all but purrs.

He is incorrigible like that. It isn’t something you would think of Blaine if you didn’t manage to get under the surface of the well-educated, bow-tied young man. However, Kurt has had the privilege to slip past that, first as Blaine’s friend and then as his boyfriend, and now he knows what an impertinent little thing Blaine can be, especially in bed.

“Do you now?”

“Kuuuurt!”

“Dear lord, Nick, I’m going to strangle you if it isn’t something of the utmost importance!”

Blaine laughs, a warm sound, as Kurt strides towards the bathroom and pushes the door open. He blinks. Nick is standing in front of the mirror, his hair resembling a wild tangle of weeds.

“What on Earth have you done this time?”

“I...I swear, I just tried a new product I found at the supermarket. I wanted them to be shinier than usual and…”

Kurt groans. “I don’t even want to know. C’mon, rinse them and then I’ll lend you some of my conditioner. Only this once, though!”

As he tends to the mess Nick has made of himself, Blaine joins them in the bathroom. There is a renewed ease between them by now; to Kurt it feels like having a second family, and he is constantly grateful for that.

They are all finishing college this year, their lives will change, but the comfort to have them by his side is enough to power him on.

***

The sounds of the city at night rise up slowly to the window, lulling him into a state of peace, between sleep and wake.

“Do you think we’ll find a nice place around here? I like it here.” Blaine whispers, his head resting on Kurt’s shoulder.

“Of course, honey. Everything will be all right, I’ve got you.”

Blaine presses a kiss to his cheek. “And I’ve got you, babe. Always.”

Kurt slowly slips into sleep, hugging Blaine closer, knowing that this is the purest of truths.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
